


Sensorium

by OtherCat



Category: Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-07 14:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherCat/pseuds/OtherCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demons understand the pleasures of the flesh, but not the limitations. Ciel's recovery after "that day" depends on Sebastian teaching Ciel to recognize both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sensorium

It actually took the demon now calling himself "Sebastian" a few days to realize what was wrong. Not being human, he could possibly be forgiven for not catching on sooner (if forgiveness were a term that could be applied to demons). "Sebastian" was a being that was spirit first, and body second. He understood the pleasures of the flesh, but for him, the flesh was something that could be put aside, cast off, even ignored if it became bothersome. He could not, and did not have a true understanding--from the inside out--of the limitations of the flesh, or of the fragility of the human mind. It therefore didn't occur to him that it might be unhealthy for a human child to act as if his body, with all its senses and functions, didn't exist.

Another factor that kept him from realizing the problem was the child's extreme intelligence. To Sebastian, the strength to summon, the will to command and the intelligence to use the power called forth indicated a certain stability that the child did not actually possess. A stability that the child could not possibly possess. (Of course he didn't realize that either. Sebastian's experience with human children up to this point had been nearly non-existant.) So he did not at first understand that a child who wasn't eating unless he was told to, took only cursory care of his bodily needs, and who worked himself half to death before collapsing into a twitchy, nightmare filled slumber is a child who needs a great deal of help to achieve even basic functionality.

When he did realize the truth of the situation, it didn't take Sebastian very long to come up with an (unorthodox) solution. It occurred to him that a child who was living as if his body did not exist below his neck needed to be reminded that this was not the case. It occured to him that a child pursuing vengeance against adult enemies needed to learn to live on the edge of his skin if he was going to survive to take that vengeance. It occurred to him that Ciel needed to be taught both to be aware of his surroundings, and to be aware of his own body. He also needed to learn how to operate in the circles where those enemies were most likely hiding.

First, there is sound--violin and the piano. There is humming and singing and on occasion, the recitation of poetry. This is a sonata, and this is a concerto, and this is a ballad called "The Elphen Knight." There is learning to recognize specific musical pieces and specific composers. There is learning to identify specific players, and later there are ballets and concerts and operas to attend and discussion of the performance, the conductors and the vocalists.

Next there is touch. The soft coolness of silk, the raised designs of brocade, the plushness of velvet, the feel and weight of wool. Then there are delicate porcelain teacups, heavy silver utensils and objects made of smooth glass and wood. There is skin to skin contact, gentle and impersonal, and the tingling pinpricks of bath water that's just a little too hot. There is the warmer touch that says "you are safe now," and the touch that says "pay attention." There is learning to identify things by touch, to name and assess texture and material. This is old twill, this is new linen.

Now there is sight. There is color and pattern and shape. There is shade and optical illusions. There is fine art and there is craftmanship. Sebastian describes, explains, announces--this is Wedgwood, the style is Gothic, the architecture is Greco-Roman. Pay attention to details, notice what is and isn't there. Later there are art museums, and walks in the garden. These are tea roses, the hedges are boxwood, this is an oak tree. Things he knew before, he learns in different ways. He learns to connect styles of art and appearance to eras and regions. Ciel learns to identify artists, who they are and when they lived. He reads and discusses what he's read. Sebastian plays tutor and Ciel learns.

And there is taste. Sweet, sour, bitter and salty. The acidic taste of citrus, the rich taste of good beef. Flavors to teach and tempt the palate, to awaken hunger and curiosity in the many combinations and variations. What wine to serve with which food, and learning how to identify and name flavors. Ciel discovers preferences for one flavor over another, and learns to be careful, identifying off or unpleasant tastes that warn of spoiled or contaminated foods.

Finally, there is smell. Smoky, sharp, pungent, flowery. There is the smell of tobacco, of melting parrafin. Scent is a sense that ties itself very closely to taste, and he learns that one enhances or detracts from the other. He learns to identify perfumes and colognes, and the kind of tea being served by scent and taste.

There are other combinations. Taste is also touch--food has texture. The crisp taste of lettuce, and the soft slickness of freshly buttered bread. Fluffy pastries, the solid filling earthiness of potatoes, the carnal satisfaction of sinking your teeth into a good steak. Food is both fuel and art in the hands of someone who is a skilled cook (and it's a gunpowder laced disaster in the hands of someone who thinks cooking involves explosions).

Touch and sight can also become allies. Touch identifies weight, shape and balance, vision identifies a direction to go in, and distance. Direction and distance dictate the force with which an object such as a dart is thrown, or how hard a cuestick hits the ball.

Touch can also ally itself with sound, in the case of learning to play the piano or the violin, because touch is pressure and position, as well as consistency and texture.

All the senses can unlock memories, inspire emotions and instigate actions.

This is a slow and careful process, not quite perfected. Ciel must be lured, but never tempted, directed, but never guided. Ciel is an abused animal that has turned the back corner of his cage (the inside of his skull) into a sanctuary. A living, intelligent creature can not live in so constricted an environment, especially when every sense and feeling has become a traitor, and the limitations of his body a prison.

So now, Sebastian wages a compaign where every taste, every discernment and recognition of a color, a sight, a sound is another sense reclaimed, is another inch of flesh recovered. Every touch, every taste, every scent is a reminder that Ciel is alive, not dead. Every lesson, every preference discovered and every skill learned expands Ciel's sense of occupying space, of having an existence that is both mental and physical.

Sebastian feels sometimes that the greatest triumph will come not when Ciel has accomplished his goal, but when Ciel learns to live entirely within his own body, on the edge of his skin, and outside of it.


End file.
